我必須做我喜歡做的

有多久沒寫部落了，幾年了吧。本來想如果戶口開不回的話就算了，但很好，忘了密碼還有辦法被我開回。

最近近況還行吧。用了兩個月多的時間考到了駕照，現在上網查詢一些學院的資料。個人以前到現在還是對化妝比較感興趣。雖然幾位朋友勸我當作兼職就好，說化妝界競爭很激烈。我覺得很多工作都是差不多的，有好有壞。只要我比別人更努力更用心，這絕對不是個大問題。我不想找份早九晚五的工作這樣過一輩子，我必須做我喜歡做的事。

前幾天朋友也陪我一起去找學院了噢。她現在也是就讀化妝課所以就找她。因為我不知該問些啥，她可以給我些意見。問了四間，已經找到我覺得比較適合的。剛好我去時還有一個位子在第一班(已經開班了），上課時間是星期四，五，六。不好的就是時間不對，我不能週末做兼職。第二班的課是星期一，二，三，晚上有瑜伽課時間會很趕。開課也得等到六月尾。我又不想等那麼久。考慮了許久還是選了第一班。就是過幾天就開課了，我是插班進去的所以開始得留堂學習。

媽媽還挺替我的學費操心的，怕我應付不來，每天都問我夠不夠錢。還拜託爸爸先幫我繳一些。我之前打工有自己存錢，就算不夠我也可以自己再去做兼職。真不想媽媽這麼擔心我。一直以來媽媽這麼支持我做的決定，只要不是壞的事情她都會答應我。這樣就夠了。

Dark memories..

It was a day I shall never forget. He left without a word.

I still remember vividly that fateful day, I got home from school. I only saw my grandma sitting in the hall. I felt very weird and asked her: '' Where is everybody?'' She told me my parents, uncle and younger brother had rushed to the hospital as my third brother met with a car accident and was sent to hospital emergency unit. I had much mixed feeling after I heard it, I was close to tears then hiding in the bathroom and cried bitterly.

After a few hours, there have two policemen came to my house, they took out a piece of paper asked me whether wasit my brother's name and Ic number and told me that this person died an hours ago. I was bawling my eyes and crying at the top of lungs.
My grandma hold me closed and she was crying too. I really thought that my brother would be fine and come back but it's not going to be a really. I was afraid to tell my parents because they are still on the way to the hospital. It was too risky!

Towards night, my mother at the other end of the line sadly told me that brother had dead, her anguish voice could be heard on the phone. I hope that I can stays by her side at the time.

Early next morning, we took brother's body there. I went up and gazed sadly at his pale face and cold body in the coffin. My tears just flowed. I still didn't believe it was true! How could a sixteen years old bear that sadness!!  It was a first time I saw my family and all of my brother's friends and my mom crying in agony. My dad hugged me tightly and said ''we shall never see him again!'' It seemed to shoot an arrow through my heart.

My brother was still young, only 19 years old. It was very painful to know that no one was by his side at the very moment of his death.I was very hate that car driver who caused this accident!!
Why my brother had passed away he still can laughed and without any guilt and uneasy?
He just worried about his car was destroyed. My mom told me the details, my brother took a trip to Pulau Redang with his friends by car, my brother's friend was speeding and cross over the other side of the route. A truck appeared in front of them out of the blue and they didn't have time to stop hence got hit by the truck.He in order to self-defence, so put my brother sat position turn to the front of the truck.Crashed into my brother directly, his whole body was clamp by the truck. He was still sleeping at that time, be hit also don't know.

In the hospital, that driver told my mom and dad his driver's license has took for a few years, is actually P license just take a month more.It make me really want to scold and beat him a lesson!! But there was nothing that we could do but prayed that God helped us to go through this sadness.

After he passed away, I lost my appetite for a few days and cried in the quilt everynight. It left a scar in my heart and painful memories cost a  shadow in my young. Destroying all the sense of security that I had. I often associate darkness with unhappy events. I thought these injuries and wounds inscribed in my heart will remain me forever.

I remembered the happy memories we being together. I treasured the things that he had left for me, the pictures we had taken together, which I would cherish forever. I would never, ever, forget the day he left us.

May God bless him and may his soul rest in peace.

我独一无二的妈妈 ♥

       母情节快乐~~~~ 这篇是要写给我妈妈的~
                         因为我知道我会写很多  
                         妈妈一直问我 ''做么你没有写东西给我的? 记得写去FaceBook喔 ''
                         其实我本来都要写了的~只是前一天忙着温书,没有时间
                         本来还想自己做一张卡送她,可是刚好要考试就没有做到了,等她生日再补回吧
                         不过我上网预购了一双鞋给她,她说她很喜欢,所以我就买了 

                         妈妈前几天跟我说: 母情节都没有用,少了一个, 唉~
                         一个家本来有七个小矮人的,现在却少了一个,难免不完整~
                         我知道我妈妈还是很想哥哥的,我也很想 
                         不过妈妈你放心,你还有我们五个小矮人陪着你

                         我妈虽然每次都骂我,但却还是那个会问我要不要吃饭的人
                         我妈虽然每次都念我动作很慢,但却还是那个会帮我收拾好东西的人
                         我妈竟使没有做工,却还是那个每天会准时叫我起床的人
                         我妈知道我手机没钱,隔天就去买张卡钱叫我进了它
                         我妈知道我生病,总是会买感冒药给我,叫我多喝点水
                         有时候我们会吵架,但过不久就会没事了

                         我每天都会说我在学校发生的事给她听,每次都跟她聊心事
                         我们就像聊得开的朋友,她算是最了解我的人,她知道我需要些什么想些什么
                         跟她在一起我就感觉很开心很自在

                         我妈妈从不会限制我们一定要读好书,以后干些什么
                         她只希望我们五个孩子乖乖听话,平平安安,健健康康就够了
                         我妈就是我妈,独一无二的妈妈
                         妈,母情节快乐,今天你要比任何人都漂亮比任何人都开心噢 ~
                         我们都爱你 ♥